In this fast-paced day-to-day life, we live with competition, stress, trying to keep up and at times feeling overwhelmed. There does not seem to be enough time to do all the things we need to do much less what we would like to do.
In my practice, I work with many people who just need someone to talk to other than family or friends. They want clarification and validation. Sometimes they want someone to “fix it” but only we can make the choices to “fix it” for ourselves. It’s amazing what simple things we can do to help us feel better and take back control. We all bring our baggage (i. e. life history) with us. Some of that baggage can be damaging to our ego which can carry with it low self-esteem. This can lead us to feel stunted or frozen in those childhood negative cognitions. This shows up in how we handle or don’t handle important situations that we confront.
What I learned is that we don’t take the time to breathe. I know we breathe to live. But do we breathe to relax, to relieve stress to allow ourselves time to pause before reacting or responding?
When I meet with people in my online counseling session, I start by getting to know each other. Usually, a client comes in to discuss a problem they perceive as what is keeping them from being happy or moving forward. As we continue our conversation, they start to talk about other concerns they have. We also discuss how they have managed or NOT in the past. Sometimes they fail to notice how they deal with everything but themselves. And many times, it shows how they carry the spirit of low self-esteem.
Low self-esteem brings with it many stone blocks. We don’t have confidence in ourselves or our decisions. We sometimes make decisions but feel guilty about them. We spin our wheels without getting anything done.
I usually start by suggesting a new way to breathe. Breathing can help us to slow down, clear our minds, and start to think and take control of ourselves. Then I suggest some affirmations. For some people, they have tried in the past to recite some positive quotes but gave up after a short time. I give it as “homework” between sessions. I tell them to print them, see them, say them, hear them, and most importantly, “OWN” THEM. After a few weeks, I see a new person who is confident and feels better about themselves. I also suggest meditation (which you can download for free on your phone). For some people, journaling helps. When they feel stunted or not able to write,
I suggest they start with one of the affirmations a day and elaborate on what that means to them. I also suggest how reading positive motivational quotes can motivate and inspire one to at least start the day with positive thoughts.
In conclusion, I would also say to change how you look if you have been neglecting yourself. “When You Look Good: You Feel Good!!!” It evokes confidence, you have less anxiety and less self-doubt, and you feel empowered and motivated.
So, STOP mumbling and START Speaking To Be Heard